New Year's eve tomorrow night.

My favorite day of the year! Through the looking glass, that's for sure. (Sarcasm)

Watch Inception, really really good movie.

Weekend Dream

Spreading out
Is a solid blue collage
With a basketball for a pillow
The boy looks up at tomorrow in the sky

The cherry blossoms have begun to fall
Do you know this scent?
Yeah, summer's almost here
The sound of the wind, the scent of the grass
The crunching footsteps drawing near

The hazy orange mountains
The crows return home to their mother's breast
Lovers are walking happily
Hand in hand

Hey, I wonder if
The sky will always be this pretty
Hey, I wonder if
The wind will always be this clear
Hey, I wonder if summer will always come after spring
The worst Sunday

Spreading out
Is a solid blue collage
With a basketball for a pillow
The boy looks up at tomorrow in the sky

The hazy orange mountains
The crows return home to their mother's breast
Lovers are walking happily
Hand in hand

Hey, I wonder if
People will always hold hands
Hey, I wonder if
People will always embrace
Hey, I wonder if summer will always come after spring
The worst Sunday

Ghetto livin

It has been a long long time. I suppose an update on my life is in order. I want you to read this in Morgan Freeman's voice.

On November 18th I developed a strange pain in my testicles. This pain was at some times very severe, but alas I had to study for that APS quiz which was the next day. After the quiz I went to visit a doctor. They figured I had an STD. An STD? Fair enough, I am sexually active but I'm no fool, wrap your tool. Unless you got a steady thing, in that case...she's a cheatin' hoe. I digress.

So, I took some tests at that doctor, come Monday I call to get my results only to find that doctor has gone on vacation for an undetermined amount of time. Fuck. So I start seeing a U of T doctor. Not exactly the nicest woman I have ever met, but I can't exactly pick and choose them can I? She orders an Ultra sound of my scrotum and bladder and urinary tract infection tests. A week or so later, all negative. At this point my pain has now developed from my testicles to my right lower quadrant abdominal region. (RLQ) for short-as I would discover over the many weeks of deciphering doctor-talk.

The next procedure was an abdominal ultrasound to look for renal colic, liver issues, Gall bladder, you name it. Negative...mild pelviectasis on the right side (transient) and moderate on the left, but nothing of concern. Next step? Another ultrasound! This time let us check for a hernia in the abdominal wall. Fair enough, I figured this was likely the cause as I am a beast man in the gym and at the time was lifting almost twice my body weight in front squats. You guessed it. Negative for a hernia. Keep in mind the march of school and time proceeds unchecked. Sleep loss began to take its toll and my marks would suffer.

Life goes on right, that's what my man Tupac says. Soldiering through this shit, we arrive in our journey to the day of December 10th, Fluid mechanics exam for all the non 2nd-year civil engineering students. About half way through the exam my pain intensifies into a feeling unlike I had ever experienced before. I scribble down what will pass as my energy grade line and stumbled my ass to Mount Sinai hospital. Ohh man, I don't even wanna feel the way that I felt that afternoon ever again. I can't even describe it. After a grueling 5 hours in emergency, I am discharged. "Nothing wrong with you. Come back tomorrow, we will do more tests."...mother fuckers. I guess the blood tests and further urine tests showed no abnormalities.

I return the next day, surprisingly with my father in tow. I received another ultrasound to examine in particular my appendix, which at this point may be the culprit and ready to burst sending me to my untimely death. Well...just my luck they cannot find my appendix. The fucking radiologist herself came to find it when the technician turned up blank. Advanced medical degree in hand...what the fuck is this? A bad joke? The next step for me, a CT scan. basically the 2nd highest order test you can get. With every CT scan you get a lottery ticket, 1/1000 get cancer from a CT scan. Maybe I am lucky eh?

The CT scan is less than pleasurable. You are required to take an IV drip which will inject you with an X-Ray contrast dye. Spoiler the dye has its own risks including seizures and hives and shit. Nothing bad happened, but it left me with this horrible metallic taste for a day or two. Furthermore, you get this rush of pure heat within your body as it circulates. Never experienced anything like that before. Anyways, long story short. Nothing is medically wrong with me.

Not a thing. I am still in pain and discomfort to this day. It's been better..sometimes, and sometimes bad. Walk around like I got a target on my chest...that is what it feels like.

I don't drink. I eat right, no fast food no high salt. I exercise more than I breathe. I train my mind. I don't smoke, anything. My drug use is minimal, don't even take Tylenol, the only thing I do is shrooms. That's just the way it is, sometimes people just get sick. There doesn't have to be a reason. It just happens.

I don't wanna be bitter, but I am. I wasn't a very happy person before November 18th, I ain't exactly any better on December 23rd, even worse. I can't speak for those who read this, but you don't know what is like living with chronic pain, if you do, please share your experiences. I am not looking for sympathy, I'm not trying to be a whiny bitch. I'm 21 years old, I want my life back.