Just one beat

So last Saturday a good friend of mine linked me to a channel on youtube where I could watch all 49 episodes of Gundam Wing. English dubbed, no commercials, uncut.

Mission accepted.

On the first day I plowed through 37 episodes, an slowly but surely made me way through the remaining only to finish yesterday. Exactly one week. Wow nostalgia glasses were fixed to my head. It certainly felt good to re watch a piece of my childhood and have it play out exactly as I remembered it. Adding to the enjoyment was the fact that as I watched my friend did the same and we swapped quotes/discussed plot devices/made fun of the absurd things/just generally had a good time on MSN.

It's weird, we first watched the show together back in our youth many moons ago. Now here in our 20's we resume right where we left off, as the episodes flash before us we are reminded of childhood good times and the same jokes we said then quickly fill the air, followed by laughter. Just like nothing has changed. Unfortunately the reality of the situation sinks in and I remember that the youthful David is long gone and everything has changed. But oh well, for the 24:47 minutes (the length of one episode sans commercials) I am born anew in its glory.

I suppose when I was younger I never really appreciated the ending, but now...now I really do. It really showed the character development that has taken place. At the start Releena invites Heero to her birthday party, he refuses and rips up the invitation card.

"I don't go to birthday parties"

This spawns the series unrequited love between the two, its culmination is the last 5 minutes of the final episode, heero no longer the complete soulless bastard he was at the start gives Releena a card, not exactly in person but leaves it for her and walks away (what exactly the card is for/about is not revealed). Anyways,long story short she rips it up right there and then.

"Next time give it to me in person..."

Ahh the role reversal...the poetic justice (Not that I pretend to know what that means, it just sounds cool).

Anyways, 49/49. Youth reborn in me.

Mission Complete.

Hey midnight...

...turn on your lights.

Some days I just look tired, but I feel wired. I think I need to get my wisdom teeth out, I'm really getting alot of pain lately. I'm no doctor but I'd say they have impacted. Everytime I eat, the same throbbing...man, and I take such good care of my teeth. I'm a militant teeth brusher. The tooth Nazi.

/some unrelated stream of thought I jsut wanna vent/
I am really worried about what is to become of a certain situation. Fall hard or fall harder. Does not seem like there will be a good way out now, I'm in too deep. My own goddamn mistake. Some days it's so good, some days I don't even know. Don't you lie to me. Oh what have I done. So wide awake at night now. Hey midnight is right.
/

Fuck this heat. I can't stand it. David King was built for speed over comfort, sarcasm over sympathy and cold over hot. I walk tot he bus stop, sweating. Walk to the gym from the streetcar, sweating. Be outside for > 30 seconds, sweating. Horrible.

Come as you are

"he had the desperation, not the courage, to be himself. Once you do that, you can't go wrong, because you can't make any mistakes when people love you for being yourself. It didn't matter that other people loved him; he simply didn't love himself enough."

"probably the worst thing that has happened to me in my life. I remember the day after that I woke up and I was heartbroken that he was gone. I just felt like, Okay, so I get to wake up today and have another day and he doesn't."

"sometimes you just can't save someone from themselves, and in some ways, you kind of prepare yourself emotionally for that to be a reality."

Mr Mojo Rising

Uneventful day...

for the exception of the fact I had work and gym, both of which are far from uneventful, but who is complaining?

To Qian, haven't talked to you in sooo long...man I miss you, how have things been? What are you up to? Gossip? Drama? Update me.

So stayed up late last night to watch the final episode of the Pacific which I missed sunday night. Well worth it...well worth it. Overall the series was pretty drab to me and relatively forgettable. This was pretty much all rectified with the finale...a really heavy episode, emotionally heavy...manly tears were shed.

Snafu didn't even say good bye...spend three years with someone in the closest bond imaginable and not even say bye when you leave. That hit me hard, he didn't even talk to any of his fellow marines for the rest of his life. The next time they saw him, they were the paul bearers at his funeral. Heavy.

and Sledge...if there is one person that was the most fucked up and didn't have a scratch on him, it was Sledge.

"Woman: Did the marine corps teach you anything?"
Sledge: they taught me how to kill Japs. I got pretty damn good at it."


Anyways, short forming people's names in a non funny/cool way...gay thing to do, or gayest thing to do? You decide.

How many miles to the battlefield

"Ahh I don't know how much more of this I can take. He just goes and puts a broken bone back into place, man that just totally grosses me out thinking about it!!"

Picture yourself, sleeping on a plane...

...there's something ticking in the overhead.
And inside your brains.

So I had my first real day of work on friday...I don't know how I felt about it. I mean on one hand it was exciting on the other hand it sometimes feels like I am taking advantage of people. No to mention I am terribly nervous on any phone call and as a result I talk very fast and throw in alot of um's and hmm's. Expressions which cast a shadow of uncertainty.

So I hadn't listened to the radio since May started, threw it on this morning...first song I heard. Black - Pearl Jam ...Ohh man, I belted the hell out of that song in the shower. I lack the golden baritone voice of his Holiness-Eddie-but nonetheless, I do try.

You know, sometimes I just spend long periods of time just staring at the mirror, I am so unhappy with the way I look. I'm working so hard to change it but it just seems everyday I see another guy and I find some feature of him I just love, and want...ohh why, why can't it be mine?

The only true thing my mother has ever said in my 20 years is: "David you are never happy with what you have". Truth. Never happy.


You dont understand how badly I want this shirt.

For me...it was tuesday

After today I don't know if I am the boxer or the bag. To start, failed my work evaluation, bullshit for one...but my own fault. It wasn't so much a studying issue as it was an issue with forgetting but a single sentence.

Following I dropped the FUCK out of a 225 pound bar while squatting. Loudest noise you have ever heard. A gym which is normally the centre of noise falls as silent as an occupied exam room. The eyes, fixed on you...lidless. In your head, embarassment, mercury rising as your face goes as red as the Red Planet.

To top the combo breaker of fail, gotmy CME mark...man what happened. What HAPPENED this exam period? I studied pretty intensely. Clearly to no avail.

What about the good...

Oh Hiroko Moriguchi, you make what heart I have melt. Everyday I seem to get older, you don't age a bit. Asian genes...She is so beautiful, oh man. That kind of timeless beauty that transcends the era and its associated norms. By that I mean that she would be attractive by today's standards, by the standards of long past, anytime. Timeless. Oh...and a nice voice too, you know...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPaVAb1vNLs&playnext_from=TL&videos=t3_UG57nFxU

Adia I do believe I've failed you

Sometimes it is just so hard. Then she calls, and it's not so bad anymore.

Work is a drag, it sucks 8 hours of my life everyday, if I didn't need money and experience so bad I would be out of there so fast. For the gym calls to me, and I respond in kind. I have seen some gains lately I might add, nothing that is call for celebration, but gains nonetheless.

Ohh man, APS112, cost me my 4.0, I can never have a CGPA of 4.0 ever again. Ever Again. I don't think I need to explain to you, the reader why I lost it. But here's the Cole's notes version, my group fucking sucked.

Anyways, just waiting on CME185 mark, Chances are though I am 100% for sure in Civil. Now if only I had the strength of character and resolve I have today, then I woulda been in civil 3 years ago, and wearing a ring next year. Oh well, in the next life I'll just be a Cop and beat up people I don't like. Sounds pretty sweet.

Some words for you kids.

Be all that you envy.

Learn to Fly

Wow, Iron Man 2...I am disapointed. Essentially I watched a few hours of NOTHING. Not a single thing happened. Disapointed.

I lost my umbrella today. What a blow to my ego.

Soldiered through my first week of work, peice of cake...well, halfa piece. Could do it standing on my head. Well, that is if you believe they put a man on the moon. Then I guess you would have to be the same people who believe there is nothing up my sleeve.

Wait and see.

I have the greatest craving for Fried Chicken. I need it. I want it. I can't get enough of it.

Walked around my good intentions...

...found that there were none.

Haven't posted in awhile loyal readers. I swore to God I'd never end up this way. So today was the first day of my new job, I was so excited, silly me, never get your hopes up...it seems really hard, mundane and the way it is looking, after May I will be the youngest person in the building, let alone my department. THE COMPANY.

On the plus side, I get to dress up, business casual, LIKE A BOSS. It's inside, and no fucking sun.

Back to the bad side, my favorite side.

Everyone just leaves during the summer, I hate it. You end up living in a place where everyone steals...time. You have to say those awkard or worse, sad goodbyes...I always cry at goodbyes, oh God, everytime. Everytime. I wonder what it looked like to have me back in the Army days, fully loaded, tac vest, etc and a loaded weapon crying as I departed. Oh well, I cry at departures, mine, yours, anyones. It's sad.

So lately I have really been getting hit with a hard fucking question. What do I do with my time, beside school and my various and many forms of exercise. Do you know what the answer is?
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I don't do anything, if I'm not studying, sleeping, eating, running, going for a bike ride, going for a walk, lifting heavy shit, or at work. I am really doing nothing. What the fuck do you people do? Jesus, I consider my life pretty active and rarely if ever am I even close to bored...but I guess I am just boring to you people.

So the question stands, what the fuck do you people do with your time?