Incline Chest Press

Defs notice the results this morning. Will do again.

I should go out more. Good things happen. At least I feel like they do.

Only time will tell.

And wherever you've gone

And wherever we might go
It don't seem fair... You seem to like it here
Your light's reflected now, reflected from afar

So, just assembled and compiled my PD/PMP, the group did some work, not alot but some. Shoutouts go to Ken for putting ass out on that Gantt chart, it wasn't easy but he did his best. Given my powers as team leader and the fact that the Attribution table was 100% in my control I have decided not to fuck the team. I shall wait, see how they perform for the CDS and then come the final assignment(s) screw them there if I am feeling angry.

Then again, not an angry bone in my body 99% of the time.

So I just spent the 3 hours from 3pm till 6 getting raped by that bullshit CME lab, like honestly...could they be any less explained? No. Could they be any more rando? Yes. I literally...I just don't know.

The only good part is the cute TA. If it wasn't for her.

Honestly, I hate flossing, pisses me off...but it must be done, alas, life.

So it's like -cold outside, yes that is a temperature. SHould I run or bike? I feel like I need to do something after the box of Oatmeal Crisp I just ate in one sitting. I have no self control.

You think I've never ridden in a Cadillac? I've ridden in hundreds of Cadillacs

Apparently the cafeteria we always went to at the bottom of the hill
Is going to graduate with us
It's only now I've realized
That these ordinary days are really something to remember
It's only now I've realized

What I really wanted to know on the day before graduation
Wasn't the reason for the Earth's rotation
Or about Pavlov's dog
But if it was really going to end like this
We were the only ones
Sitting in the deserted classroom
It made me laugh a little
The sky was a nice sunset-color
With a vapor trail across it

I guess someday I'll be able to laugh
At how young I was back then
Like the sun sinking into the horizon
It's time to say farewell to our youth

Farewell, my youth

I insisted
I didn't need the memories
But I can never beat the past
I loved those times
And I love to look back and laugh about them

All alone in the pitch dark
The pink wind and the faint purple scent
On the piano in the music room
When I grow up
I'll be able to drink as much as I want
But will I lose the ability to fly?

Goodbye

The sweat-drenched field
And the long tone of the trumpet
I don't think I can say "goodbye"

Apparently the cafeteria we always went to at the bottom of the hill
Is going to graduate with us
It's only now I've realized
That these ordinary days are really something to remember
It's only now I've realized

There's something...on the wing

Cock suckers...I have sent 4 emails to my group today alone, trying to get some confirmation on a God damn meeting and to ensure they have their work done. So help me God if anyone of them come tomorrow without their shit done.

I am going to fucking fire them. And I can. I will join another group or tackle the God damn project on my own, to the detriment of my mark.

How about some happier news? I saw a picture of myself today from 2006 with a clear profile of my left arm and you know what? I don't look any bigger...wait I guess that isn't good news at all. Genetics.

Good news...good news...uhh I got some delicious Oatmeal crisp and banananananas at the store today? There....good news.

I am leaving this house...

...when I graduate or before that in a bag

I can't wait for that day, and on that day I am never ever coming back. Ever. Not for Christmas, not for thanksgiving, not for anything. The next time I see her will be at her funeral, and that is only if it is an open casket.

There is no one or thing on this planet I hate more than my own mother. If she wasn't a means to an end for food/etc I'd see her dead years ago.

This is the same woman-and I use that term loosely-who tells me frequently she never wanted a son and who loves her cats more than her own flesh and blood. Sometimes you really have to think how to hurt someone, I have done this in depth. I now know if it came to it I would kill her cats. I know in my heart I could do it and sleep soundly at night. I know I'd start with the male cats, because after that she'd have no boys left. Not anymore.

This is a woman who has advocated my demise numerous times. Who has a deep harboured hate of the people I have choosen to love, not so much the people, more of the colour of their skin.

Where did I go wrong, how did I raise such a monster, she'll cry. I'll ask the earlier part of the question to Jim, and question his 25 year old decision to marry and stay married. You know what? Those two "parents" if you can call them that, they made me weak. They spoiled me as a child, they would give me whatever food I wanted (and what does a kid want to eat except bad food/junk food), they made me fat...and children at school are merciless. They didn't even FORCE me to learn Italian. I have never ever spoken to my grandfather to be honest. They didn't make me exercise, they didn't make me play sports. They made me weak. I know in my heart I could be so much better than I am today.

This is a woman who whines and complains about my schooling. Three more years I have to put up with you she'll say. I'll point out some flaw in her logic, again for lack of a better word because it is far from that, or I'll show her where/how she is wrong. She will nag me for hours about how I think I am so good because I went to University, how I'M the idiot. This from a college drop out.

My youth was stolen from me. Our house? Ruined. So I couldn't bring someone over if I wanted to. My whole teenage life, stolen because of her and her god damn attitude. Do you know what that embarassment is like? Do you?

This is a woman who just wastes and wastes money. When I look at that old man in the kitchen who was my father and I think that at 62 he still works ridiculously hard only to have that devil spend his money like nothing. There are not words to describe it. I never wanna end up like him.

I could go on, but alot of the time I think about the way out. Alot of the time. People shouldn't think about those kind of things. If you have even considered it you are fucked, and I have a plan, what does that say? That 1984 Camaro Berlinetta is just sitting in that garage. Some muscle relaxants, shut the door and you are in business. The car might as well be used for something right? right.

People will say alot of things, how could you feel that way? that is your mother man. Ya well go fuck yourself.

People will say you can't choose your children.

Well, you can't choose your parents.

Carry on my wayward son

Uneventful day...

Actually got alot of work done today, got my PDPMPP (is that the right amount of P's?) sections done, and got my oil sections done for that other project. Even got some programming reading done.

Then I hit up yonder gym, benched my body weight as a test, yes I am able to do it. Good use of a friday night. Not to mention Lelia was there again, and we had mathcing shirts. Can't fight it.

(thats pronounced Li-Li-auh, if I recall correctly)

You know what I will do tomorrow? Team meeting and studying.

Going to the library, dancing on the stage of memory.

This one is for Kaya,

It is just a Pearl Jam day


I doubt she will ever read this, but one never knows. I mean she did stuble upon this int he vast wasteland that is the internet, maybe it was fate?

Anyways, uneventful day...

For the exception of the fact I have not stopped doing work in one form or another till ~now.

Woke, showered, ate, ate again (was hungry again), commuted, hijacked a day locker at the AC, class, ate, commute, team meeting in North York, commute back, ate, lab, gym, commute, ate, APS group bullshit...and then I was here.

Speaking of which, nothing breaks my heart more than knowing I was in North York but minutes away from one of the most delicious dumpling places I have experienced (and I have experienced everyone of note in Toronto, Markham is another story...) and was unable to get any because of a god damn programming lab. Breaks an old man's heart. Oh well, just an excuse to go back with Philbert, especially now that he eats meat.

Programming lab, what in the fuck was that? Look at any other sections, they had simple linear equations. Plug it in and scanf. WE HAD THIS BEAST:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Range_of_a_projectile

The fuck is that? I had to use the math lib, I didn't even remember what to type...and there was more ( and ) then I care to remember. That lab left me in such a bad mood I almost skipped my work out in pure rage. Twas lucky for me when I walked in I saw Chris right away, man the 1T1 I should have been, I love that guy, I miss that guy. Hopefully he never reads this or there will be alot of explaining to do, no homo.

We powered through a few sets together and just generally had a good time, he is always easy to talk to. Made the whole day alot better.

I completely missed the deets of my client meeting, oh well, screw it. Long story short...

Client asked for: efficienty of bus unloading,

Wanted: A ventillation system for an outdoor area.

I kid you not...at least we have a 10 million dollar budget.

Anyways, long story short, I hear a story too good to be true, it ain't.

I am actually taking a day off from the gym...

Why doesn't this work...

#include

#include
int count,count100,count10,digits;int number;

int main () {

printf ("Enter a number\n");

scanf ("%d", &number);

count = 0;

count100 = 0;

count10 = 0;

if ( number >= 1000 )

printf("Number is to big\n");

if ( number <>

printf ("Enter a positive integer\n");

if ( number / 100 > 1)

++count100;

if ( number / 10 > 1)

++count10;

if (number >= 1 )

++count;

digits = count100 + count10 + count;

if ( number <> 0)

printf ("The number has %d digits\n", digits);

system ("pause");

return 0;

}

It works for all but numbers >1000, At numbers > 1000 I return only 3 digits and it displays that my number is too big. I just want it to return "Number too large" not the digits. Man, fuck this.

21's

Uneventful day...

What a hard day on the body, class, gym, class, delicious dinner. This was my first complete thursday with a workout (last wasn't a lift day) and I am happy to say I can keep this up without problem for the remainder of the year.

Honestly, working out is like going to trick-or-treating. You go house to house (muscle group) except this time there ain't nobody giving it out.

So help me God this group better pull through. So far nothing but fail has left their mouths, especially this one guy...fucking challenges me on every decision, then WHY did you make me leader? What can I say, a commanding aura resonates from my sculpted shoulders...well, they are getting there.

Anthony, my friends call me Tony which backwards is ynot?

Uneventful day...

I got a real bad feeling about my APS group. Real bad. In the last week I am the only one who has done an ounce of work, and I did like 25 minutes MAX. If I go in tomorrow and no one came up with any ideas for our client meeting, I am gonna flip shit. And you people know me, I have a destructive personality so I will actually start shit. I am looking for a fight.

With the weather going the way it is, I am honestly considering busting out yonder bicycle and going for a trip. Of course, speak too soon and it will snow 37 feet tomorrow, and that is just in the morning. Typical.

So the artsci prof seems to think it is a good idea to post lecture notes after the lecture. Seems like a plan to me /sarcasm.

I'm so sad.

Stuck in head, all day...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyGfwQBhvYg&feature=related

Orientation Imaging Microscopy

What are your legs? Springs, steel springs

What are they gonna do? Hurl me down the road

How fast can you run? As fast as a leopard

How fast are you going to run? As fast as a leopard

And you can see me do it, every other day. Rain, wind, sleet or snow.

So It was a shorts day for my run, and man oh man...the legs felt it. All worth it, you feel so powerful, you feel ontop of the world after you complete that battle. The puzzled stares of locals are always amusing too, they got to think you are tough as balls.

Generally when I hear a story too good to be true. It ain't.

Just an old broken down piece of meat

Uneventful day...

For the exception of the fact I was graced with the Wrestler on television. man oh man, what a movie. Personally I feel it was robbed at the 2009 Oscars, honestly if your movie isn't about fags (see: Milk) or Jews (see: The Reader) you get screwed. It's all about politics, like when the blacks complained that year...what happens next year? a black wins an Oscar and they give an honorary one out to another black. Politics. Anyways, I will save that rant for another day.

Ah the Wrestler, I guess it's the film manifestation of what I hope never happens to me, a faded has-been once great. I think in alot of ways the story isn't too far off, I think there are a million "wrestlers" out there so to speak. In some manner I get this vibe of my father from my film, old and broken but refusing to give up. Kinda weird.

A recurring theme in the film is being alone, aside from drowning being alone in life is probably my biggest fear. So I really connect with the Ram (Mickey's character's name) on that level. Very brutal, very real. Furthermore living in the past is another theme of the film which hits close to home. The Ram spends the film listening to his old 80's metal (awesome btw), keeps his 80's esque hair cut, and just generally refuses to accept the times have changed. He has changed. Hard reality, never hit so hard, not even the hardest hit in the ring could compare. I mean, consider that song he picks as his ring entrance music:

Sweet Child of mine - GnR, a pretty sick song but just listen to the lyrics (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-AYAv0IoWI)

"...reminds me of childhood memories Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky"
Maybe I am looking too far into it, but I noticed it right away as I watched.

It's not to uncommon for me to sit there with my friends and everything I say or mention is some upwelling of the past, some "glory days" long gone. I guess I see where he is coming from. I say he because honestly, I felt like I was just watching a camera follow a real man around. A flesh and blood being. That's how good Mickey's performance is.

Now I am not gonna lie, you watch this film for the end, I cannot stress this enough. It's all good, but the end is top drawer. I guess there are just some things we can't run from, destiny, Donovan Bailey, etc. So we all knew this was coming...

"The Ram: The only place I get hurt is out there. [points away from the ring] The world don't give a shit about me."

The Ram belongs in one place and one place only. The ring. In a bout of martydom, the Ram takes on his old 80's rival in a final match for the only people who haven't left the broken old man, the fans.

Stubborn, pride, a last shot at glory. Call it what you will. I call it greatness. Pain heals, chicks dig scars. Glory... lasts forever.

Inspires me never to burn out. Or fade away.

"A lot of people told me that I'd never wrestle again and that's all I do. You know, if you live hard and play hard and you burn the candle at both ends, you pay the price for it. You know in this life you can lose everything you love, everything that loves you. Now I don't hear as good as I used to and I forget stuff and I aint as pretty as I used to be but god damn it I'm still standing here and I'm The Ram. As times goes by, as times goes by, they say "he's washed up", "he's finished" , "he's a loser", "he's all through". You know what? The only one that's going to tell me when I'm through doing my thing is you people here. "

Brachioradialis

Uneventful day...

A new APS course a new group, these guys don't seem anywhere as cool as my last group. In fact, in alot of ways I am really missing them, never thought I would live to see that day. ANyways, time will tell how this group plays out. I will try for team leader again because it really seemed like I was a pretty commanding person today at the first tutorial. Oh well, I don't really care I just want this course done with.

Actually had some breakthroughs while programming today, ya sure it was the most simplified program ever, but nonetheless. Knowledge has been gained. GAINED.

First class of CME185 was today, Finally got to see all the Mins and Civs, There are actually some girls in civ...wow, who knew. But I got a really bad feeling about that class. Artsci teacher, artsci material, engineering mindset. For those who haven't experienced both you wouldn't know what I am talking about. But trust, If the prof goes artsci on us, those engies won't stand a chance.

Unfortunately for them, this time I am bulletproof.

T hezies' day

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVs_TZOZD0w

Bus Romance, ah two years ago

Uneventful day...

Back in the suck like nothing happened it would seem, maybe that is because I was there almost everyday during the break (every other) hitting the iron. But ohwell, nothing has changed. Classes just as I expected them, shit. I was really hoping for something different this semester and I prayed and prayed. When I sat down and read that syllabus, I knew. Nothing changes.

So alas, my musings for the next week as every other instiution remains on leave. Well this is U of T, we are supposed to be better, stronger than them.

So they test us.

Because we can take it.

} printf "fuck this"; return 0; {

Uneventful break...

David talkin' here, that's right I spell talking with no g, to show I've got attitude. I am sure you all missed my musings since I have been ill and still am ill with an unknown illness. Ironically from Markham. Ironically. It's not actually ironic.

So I wrestled with what to wear tomorrow, I am gonna go with the brown polo, it's standard fair and not to upscale for first day, but not tshirt casual. Tomorrow will no doubt be absolutely shitty, this I have no doubt about in my mind. First class is programming, PROGRAMMING, THE FUCK AM I GONNA NEED THAT FOR?

Lest I go on.

What can I say

This has been my new year's day tradition for as long as I can remember.

What more do you need today than this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6Y-t85vs4g&feature=related