Just love

So, I may have liver disease. After everything, brought down by a microbial organism. Fitting perhaps? Again, speculation, but the specialist today reviewed my chart and was pretty sure of himself.

Where could I have gotten in, since he likely suspects an infectious route of origin. Typical. Again, this is all speculation and there is no need to start my funeral pyre preparations. let us recall the last two months of hypothesis, test, negative conclusion.

But in all honesty, this is how I want to go, if it happens:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWb7l--w5yY

Breaking Bad

Just finished the last episode of the most recent season. Probably perfect timing too, considering I figure school will get intense from here onward. But alas, I just found out the next season won't be airing until July of this year. So much for that...what a break. God damn cliff hanger endings.

So I have been taking this new natural medicine for my stomach and associated pains. Enteric coated peppermint oil. I have to say, the difference is like night and day. I am not cured and it does nothing for my more-often-than-not crippling nausea. But I will do anything to feel a little better. Anything.

You know when you get up to get something, then forget what you were looking for? Hate that. Just happened to me and my Ipod.

Lately I have been listening to more Cold Play, hey I know what you are thinking. Is David gay? Maybe.

Here we go again

Open hearted

Hold onto the thread
The currents will shift
Guide me towards you
Know something's left
And we're all allowed to dream
Of the next time we touch...

You don't have to stray
The oceans away
Waves roll in my thoughts
Hold tight the ring...
The sea will rise...
Please stand by the shore...
I will be...
I will be...
There once more...

I get sicker, school gets closer. The sea certainly will rise. I suppose I will be there once more.

I was out with this girl last night and she commented on admiring my intelligence and success in school. Not one to blow my own horn, but she did say that. Of course she asked how I did it combined with all my gym time, and of course I answered with the same rhetoric about plenty of sleep, exercise and paying attention in class. All crap. What I didn't say-strictly because I will look like a loser-is that when something consumes your entire life, you better be damn good at it. Truth.

My point for bringing this up? Well, I always wanted to do well in school to have options for the future. Job prospects, grad school, further professional education, whatever. Getting sick as of late has really shaken the pillars of my Earth. I asked myself if the youth-GPA trade off has been worth it, and my answer?

Yes. Every minute of it.

I am very good at what I do, sometimes even the best in the class. I love to win. I hate losing. I enjoy the feeling of people admiring something about me. Selfish? Who gives a fuck.