Incline Chest Press

Defs notice the results this morning. Will do again.

I should go out more. Good things happen. At least I feel like they do.

Only time will tell.

And wherever you've gone

And wherever we might go
It don't seem fair... You seem to like it here
Your light's reflected now, reflected from afar

So, just assembled and compiled my PD/PMP, the group did some work, not alot but some. Shoutouts go to Ken for putting ass out on that Gantt chart, it wasn't easy but he did his best. Given my powers as team leader and the fact that the Attribution table was 100% in my control I have decided not to fuck the team. I shall wait, see how they perform for the CDS and then come the final assignment(s) screw them there if I am feeling angry.

Then again, not an angry bone in my body 99% of the time.

So I just spent the 3 hours from 3pm till 6 getting raped by that bullshit CME lab, like honestly...could they be any less explained? No. Could they be any more rando? Yes. I literally...I just don't know.

The only good part is the cute TA. If it wasn't for her.

Honestly, I hate flossing, pisses me off...but it must be done, alas, life.

So it's like -cold outside, yes that is a temperature. SHould I run or bike? I feel like I need to do something after the box of Oatmeal Crisp I just ate in one sitting. I have no self control.

You think I've never ridden in a Cadillac? I've ridden in hundreds of Cadillacs

Apparently the cafeteria we always went to at the bottom of the hill
Is going to graduate with us
It's only now I've realized
That these ordinary days are really something to remember
It's only now I've realized

What I really wanted to know on the day before graduation
Wasn't the reason for the Earth's rotation
Or about Pavlov's dog
But if it was really going to end like this
We were the only ones
Sitting in the deserted classroom
It made me laugh a little
The sky was a nice sunset-color
With a vapor trail across it

I guess someday I'll be able to laugh
At how young I was back then
Like the sun sinking into the horizon
It's time to say farewell to our youth

Farewell, my youth

I insisted
I didn't need the memories
But I can never beat the past
I loved those times
And I love to look back and laugh about them

All alone in the pitch dark
The pink wind and the faint purple scent
On the piano in the music room
When I grow up
I'll be able to drink as much as I want
But will I lose the ability to fly?

Goodbye

The sweat-drenched field
And the long tone of the trumpet
I don't think I can say "goodbye"

Apparently the cafeteria we always went to at the bottom of the hill
Is going to graduate with us
It's only now I've realized
That these ordinary days are really something to remember
It's only now I've realized

There's something...on the wing

Cock suckers...I have sent 4 emails to my group today alone, trying to get some confirmation on a God damn meeting and to ensure they have their work done. So help me God if anyone of them come tomorrow without their shit done.

I am going to fucking fire them. And I can. I will join another group or tackle the God damn project on my own, to the detriment of my mark.

How about some happier news? I saw a picture of myself today from 2006 with a clear profile of my left arm and you know what? I don't look any bigger...wait I guess that isn't good news at all. Genetics.

Good news...good news...uhh I got some delicious Oatmeal crisp and banananananas at the store today? There....good news.

I am leaving this house...

...when I graduate or before that in a bag

I can't wait for that day, and on that day I am never ever coming back. Ever. Not for Christmas, not for thanksgiving, not for anything. The next time I see her will be at her funeral, and that is only if it is an open casket.

There is no one or thing on this planet I hate more than my own mother. If she wasn't a means to an end for food/etc I'd see her dead years ago.

This is the same woman-and I use that term loosely-who tells me frequently she never wanted a son and who loves her cats more than her own flesh and blood. Sometimes you really have to think how to hurt someone, I have done this in depth. I now know if it came to it I would kill her cats. I know in my heart I could do it and sleep soundly at night. I know I'd start with the male cats, because after that she'd have no boys left. Not anymore.

This is a woman who has advocated my demise numerous times. Who has a deep harboured hate of the people I have choosen to love, not so much the people, more of the colour of their skin.

Where did I go wrong, how did I raise such a monster, she'll cry. I'll ask the earlier part of the question to Jim, and question his 25 year old decision to marry and stay married. You know what? Those two "parents" if you can call them that, they made me weak. They spoiled me as a child, they would give me whatever food I wanted (and what does a kid want to eat except bad food/junk food), they made me fat...and children at school are merciless. They didn't even FORCE me to learn Italian. I have never ever spoken to my grandfather to be honest. They didn't make me exercise, they didn't make me play sports. They made me weak. I know in my heart I could be so much better than I am today.

This is a woman who whines and complains about my schooling. Three more years I have to put up with you she'll say. I'll point out some flaw in her logic, again for lack of a better word because it is far from that, or I'll show her where/how she is wrong. She will nag me for hours about how I think I am so good because I went to University, how I'M the idiot. This from a college drop out.

My youth was stolen from me. Our house? Ruined. So I couldn't bring someone over if I wanted to. My whole teenage life, stolen because of her and her god damn attitude. Do you know what that embarassment is like? Do you?

This is a woman who just wastes and wastes money. When I look at that old man in the kitchen who was my father and I think that at 62 he still works ridiculously hard only to have that devil spend his money like nothing. There are not words to describe it. I never wanna end up like him.

I could go on, but alot of the time I think about the way out. Alot of the time. People shouldn't think about those kind of things. If you have even considered it you are fucked, and I have a plan, what does that say? That 1984 Camaro Berlinetta is just sitting in that garage. Some muscle relaxants, shut the door and you are in business. The car might as well be used for something right? right.

People will say alot of things, how could you feel that way? that is your mother man. Ya well go fuck yourself.

People will say you can't choose your children.

Well, you can't choose your parents.

Carry on my wayward son

Uneventful day...

Actually got alot of work done today, got my PDPMPP (is that the right amount of P's?) sections done, and got my oil sections done for that other project. Even got some programming reading done.

Then I hit up yonder gym, benched my body weight as a test, yes I am able to do it. Good use of a friday night. Not to mention Lelia was there again, and we had mathcing shirts. Can't fight it.

(thats pronounced Li-Li-auh, if I recall correctly)

You know what I will do tomorrow? Team meeting and studying.

Going to the library, dancing on the stage of memory.

This one is for Kaya,

It is just a Pearl Jam day


I doubt she will ever read this, but one never knows. I mean she did stuble upon this int he vast wasteland that is the internet, maybe it was fate?

Anyways, uneventful day...

For the exception of the fact I have not stopped doing work in one form or another till ~now.

Woke, showered, ate, ate again (was hungry again), commuted, hijacked a day locker at the AC, class, ate, commute, team meeting in North York, commute back, ate, lab, gym, commute, ate, APS group bullshit...and then I was here.

Speaking of which, nothing breaks my heart more than knowing I was in North York but minutes away from one of the most delicious dumpling places I have experienced (and I have experienced everyone of note in Toronto, Markham is another story...) and was unable to get any because of a god damn programming lab. Breaks an old man's heart. Oh well, just an excuse to go back with Philbert, especially now that he eats meat.

Programming lab, what in the fuck was that? Look at any other sections, they had simple linear equations. Plug it in and scanf. WE HAD THIS BEAST:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Range_of_a_projectile

The fuck is that? I had to use the math lib, I didn't even remember what to type...and there was more ( and ) then I care to remember. That lab left me in such a bad mood I almost skipped my work out in pure rage. Twas lucky for me when I walked in I saw Chris right away, man the 1T1 I should have been, I love that guy, I miss that guy. Hopefully he never reads this or there will be alot of explaining to do, no homo.

We powered through a few sets together and just generally had a good time, he is always easy to talk to. Made the whole day alot better.

I completely missed the deets of my client meeting, oh well, screw it. Long story short...

Client asked for: efficienty of bus unloading,

Wanted: A ventillation system for an outdoor area.

I kid you not...at least we have a 10 million dollar budget.

Anyways, long story short, I hear a story too good to be true, it ain't.