Uneventful day...
So it seems the fans, well you know who you are (out of the millions who read this elegant piece of work, lol) complained about the lack of David-rants. Well let`s just see...
Today was one of those fucking days when you just wake up and it`s still dark and its raining...the sound of my skylights brings feelings of pure rage to me that can only be topped by having to deal with old people on a crowded bus at rush hour...ya fuck you old people, don`t hold up an entire bus full of people as you SLOWLY make your way on...God damn it I hope I never get old.
Anyways rain, it was one of those days with rando heavy periods and mild interludes. To make matters worse, the mild interludes weren`t complete recesses as one would expect, instead they were home to possibly the worst fucking thing nature can summon...DRIZZLE.
Drizzle-or as many would call it, Hitler-is probably the most enraging thing nature can bring to bear. Not only is it annoying as fuck on your face, it`s a silent killer. Prolonged enxposure to drizzle ruins even the mightest of hair-dos silently and without warning, much like Carbon Monoxide, but less sexy.
Furthermore, when it is drizzily you have one of two options, carry an umbrella and look like a douche to anyone not carrying one. Or, not carry one and ruin your life. The choice is ultimately in the hands of the reader. This writer presonally carries his umbrella and suffers the awkward looks of passer-byers whose eyes beg the question of why you would have an open umbrella when it`s not even raining'. Well jackass, I hate being wet and more miserable than my normal cycnical self. Fuck you.
Next rant on shit I hate on the bus. I had a prelude earlier in this text, but will leave the hungry masses wanting more, more, more.
All in all, rain is David's kryptonite.
So it seems the fans, well you know who you are (out of the millions who read this elegant piece of work, lol) complained about the lack of David-rants. Well let`s just see...
Today was one of those fucking days when you just wake up and it`s still dark and its raining...the sound of my skylights brings feelings of pure rage to me that can only be topped by having to deal with old people on a crowded bus at rush hour...ya fuck you old people, don`t hold up an entire bus full of people as you SLOWLY make your way on...God damn it I hope I never get old.
Anyways rain, it was one of those days with rando heavy periods and mild interludes. To make matters worse, the mild interludes weren`t complete recesses as one would expect, instead they were home to possibly the worst fucking thing nature can summon...DRIZZLE.
Drizzle-or as many would call it, Hitler-is probably the most enraging thing nature can bring to bear. Not only is it annoying as fuck on your face, it`s a silent killer. Prolonged enxposure to drizzle ruins even the mightest of hair-dos silently and without warning, much like Carbon Monoxide, but less sexy.
Furthermore, when it is drizzily you have one of two options, carry an umbrella and look like a douche to anyone not carrying one. Or, not carry one and ruin your life. The choice is ultimately in the hands of the reader. This writer presonally carries his umbrella and suffers the awkward looks of passer-byers whose eyes beg the question of why you would have an open umbrella when it`s not even raining'. Well jackass, I hate being wet and more miserable than my normal cycnical self. Fuck you.
Next rant on shit I hate on the bus. I had a prelude earlier in this text, but will leave the hungry masses wanting more, more, more.
All in all, rain is David's kryptonite.
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